Notes

Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006 by Kevin Teljeur

As Bernard Sumner of New Order might say; “Ooooooh ooooh, I like you, you run away, there’s a wall between us, the sun comes up, people everywhere, Oh, you’ve got hairy legs, you’ve got hairy legs, you’ve got hairyyyyy legs, and I’m too short, oooooh, oooooh, oh! Oh!”, and I think we all know what he meant by that. I’ve been listening far too much to the same 5 songs by New Order recently, but you’d probably guessed that already. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything here and in fact the biggest contributors have been you, the people reading this site. Happily commenting away. You could sign up, and even write posts yourself! Why didn’t you do that? You could have added something meaningful, post some photos, maybe start a small community, or some pod-growing scheme to revitalise the economy of Longford, perhaps. But you didn’t. You waited.

You could have read back over some of the old posts, because I suspect you missed some of the more controversial statements altogether, buried within layers of articulate but verbose ruminations on this idea, that activity, the other place. And you can still go back and check, if you like. Why didn’t you do that? There were some great photos. Comment below, if you can find the controversial statements.

I have a set of notes on what I was going to write about, but… I don’t know where they are. I’ll have to find them. In the meantime, you might enjoy these:
Michael, Liam, Caroline and John just after we arrived at the Church. Hellraising joyride against the clock to get there. But we survived.Michael, Liam, Caroline and John just after we arrived at the church for Michelle and George’s wedding. Hellraising joyride against the clock to get there. But we survived. Click image to view larger version
Michelle and George exchange vows and agree to dedicate themselves to each other.Michelle and George exchange vows and agree to dedicate themselves to each other. This was after a fantastic stand-up routine by the priest, where he told the most inappropriate jokes possible. Comic genius. Click image to view larger version
Michelle and George signing the register, for what must have been the fifth time, for the cameras.Michelle and George signing the register, for what must have been the fifth time, for the cameras. That chap does a great wedding, I’ll have to remember him for mine. The priest was good too. Click image to view larger version
John, Caroline, Liam and Michael just after the main show, waiting for something to happen.John, Caroline, Liam and Michael just after the main show, waiting for something to happen. There were in fact no major dramatics, which was good and yet slightly disappointing. Nicole! Click image to view larger version
Michelle and George, the happy couple, outside and telling everyone how happy they are. They even got the sun, which was an unexpected bonus.Michelle and George, the happy couple, outside and telling everyone how happy they are. They even got the sun, which was an unexpected bonus. Click image to view larger version
The Conway entourage (Michelle's family) after the main group photo. I have no idea where they were headed to.The Conway entourage (Michelle’s family) after the main group photo. I have no idea where they were headed to. Click image to view larger version
Michelle and George cutting cake. It took them long enough, with all the theatrics and photography.Michelle and George cutting cake. It took them long enough, with all the theatrics and photography. Click image to view larger version
Michelle and Caroline, with Geesa in the background. Wedding dress aside, it's just like good old days.Michelle and Caroline, with Geesa in the background. Wedding dress aside, it’s just like good old days. Click image to view larger version
James, George and Michelle, wittily entertaining each other after dinner.James, George and Michelle, wittily entertaining each other after dinner. Click image to view larger version
Me, Kevin Teljeur, giving the camera-man the finger.Me giving the camera-man the finger. I don’t know who the camera-man was, but shortly afterwards the tiredness got me and I went home, via some interesting shenanigans involving taxis. Click image to view larger version

Yes, my friend Michelle finally married George (it was his idea apparently, but I’m not so sure) and it was a great day, not least for them and we were all very, very happy for both of them. No-one hit anyone else, no-one tried to ‘nicole’ the proceedings, and even the weather which was predicted to be brutal, behaved itself when it was required to do so. A good day had by all, and we wish them all the best for the future.

Now, I had a look for my notes while you were marvelling at the wonderfully turgid wedding photos (I’m a turgid photographer, by and large), but I’ve lost them along with my driving licence so not only do you not get to read the great things which I had sketched out laboriously one morning while feeling particularly bitter about the way my life is going at the moment (in a nutshell, professionally things are great; I’m at the top of my game there. But personally it’s starting to become a bit of a shambles, and I’m considering pharmacutical assistance to get that extra eighth day out of the week), I also can’t drive in the car I don’t own. The purchase of a car is planned, because now I have enough money to buy anything I damn well want, but if the licence really is gone then I’m sort of fucked on that front too. Since I’m working up to ten or twelve hours a day I’m not really thinking about anything else these days.

It’s not looking good. Other people keep it together under far tougher circumstances, and I’m really just being weak and self-indulgent here; take a look at what’s happening in Lebanon for example. One day you’re minding your own business, the next day the shitheads next door come over and try to wipe you off the face of the Earth. If you’re passing an Isreali embassy any time soon, throw stones at it. You’d have been right to do it to German embassies in the 1940′s and Isreal is cut from the same cloth (it’s not even ironic). One of these days that state will get what’s coming to it, and I will shed no tears for it’s supporters.

So I’ll keep looking for those notes, and then I’ll get the 60 or so turgid photos I have here on my hard drive up as a post. If I have time. I don’t have much of that any more. I’m going to get back on the cross now, and get back down later when there’s more to say.

(Edit 3rd August ’06: You’re in trouble now, whoever you are. I have the bitter notes. And the turgid photos. The all-whinging, all-moaning spectacular is in production right now. Corrected some bad grammar too.)

8 Responses to “Notes”

  1. Anthony Says:

    As Clyner would say. Con-tro-versial.

  2. Kenny Says:

    You’ve gone soft mate! I warned you about the working for yourself business, it’s harder than I make it look ;) start giving up your weekends now! no more weddings, trips to Kilkenny, listening to New Order… as a very good friend of mine once advised “here’s a chicken, get used to it!”

  3. kevintel Says:

    Keep an eye out for the Blind Wingman, my friend, he’ll beat the hairless ferret every time!

    Anto, as Clyner would say, “Hrrrmmmmm, umm hrrrrgh, uhh hhk!”. Remember that in your dark moments!

  4. garret Says:

    Once my life was simple, symetrical and worry free, things were all laid out as they should Be.
    Something was very very wrong. Life shouldnt be like this I thought to myself. Then one night I saw the light, that light being a comercial presentation on the moaniehole channel what they were trying to sell changed my life forever, I had to have what they were cleaverly persuading me to buy so I went straight out and bought “HOW TO OVER COMPLICATE YOUR LIFE, VOL 1 OF A SIX PART SERIES “( not for sale in israel) By Dr Kev Teljeur.
    Now I can’t even take a shit without it involving a focus group, some management consultants and a camera crew and thats even before I get involved.
    Thanks Dr kev you’ve changed my life.
    Also by Dr Kev, available from selfindugent press inc.

    - Understanding the middle East, towel heads and big noses. A beginners guide.

    -Mel Gibson a biography

    - How generalising helped me understand the world vol 1.

    - Dr kev, the cold war years, bunker mentality made easy.

    -Kev on Kev and repeating what he heard back to Kev that is if he is listening.

    -Jean Marie Le Pen and me how we met.

    Also available Dr kevs new fitness video
    -I did it you can do it, how I got fit by chasing deer and paedo priests around Phonix park.

  5. Moorsey Says:

    And by “Nicole!” you presumably mean “Elaine!”, and if not, what do you mean?

  6. kevintel Says:

    LOL! Fuck me, that’s the funniest reply I’ve seen yet. Offensive and yet wildly entertaining. The wait was well worth it for this. This will soon become andCurve: Where Garret Bites Back!

    As for “Nicole!”, as in the old Reeves and Mortimer ads for… Renault, was it?

    “Nicole!” “Bob?

    Jesus (the Spaniard, of course) I’m still laughing. Well done, G-man.

  7. Tee Says:

    Garret ya just gave me a great laugh at Kev’s expense. Is there anything better? Kev would ya go bury that cross of 4 by 4′s in a deep dark hole, possibly in Athlone cos it’ll rot quicker with all the water there. Kenny ya best show Kev a good time in Romania.

  8. kevintel Says:

    Tee. Here, stop that, this whole Kenny and Kev thing is starting to disturb me! He’s hopefully coming with me but it’ll be purely platonic.

    Not like that time when… Ah, never mind. He was too drunk, he doesn’t remember anyway. Meanwhile, I’m going to get back on my cross and write a post about my adventures at the Castle Palooza Festical.