A bit of perspective

This week really took off, and it taken a lot out of me, as mundane as it has all been. It’s also shown me the importance of having supportive people around. Well, perhaps supportive women. Guys are silently supportive, particularly with other guys; after all, who can deny the universal language of mockery, farting and grunting?

My car, a '98 Mazda 121 1.3 litre 5 door go-busters machine which I bought from my mother during the summer. It is slightly ill, and needs a good car doctor. The whole story of me driving, well... You'll have to sit through it soon. Lollers. 8th February 2007. Click image to view larger version »

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This week really took off, and it taken a lot out of me, as mundane as it has all been. It’s also shown me the importance of having supportive people around. Well, perhaps supportive women. Guys are silently supportive, particularly with other guys; after all, who can deny the universal language of mockery, farting and grunting? For example, I had a trying day on Tuesday, with all sorts of stuff not going right at work (which I take seriously, so when things aren’t hitting the right notes for me, I get stressed over it. And can I ever do stress, as we know well) and these things being somewhat outside of my control. But to top it off, a man phoned up, an annoyed man. Not just any man, mind, but a man who had contacted me previously about doing some web design and development work for him, and I had promised to discuss a quote with him, after having consulted with my trusty web designer.

Three weeks ago.

So, obviously, he was annoyed that I hadn’t gotten back to him, and that was bad, not least because although I’m contracting (I’m a third of the size I used to be), I’m also technically freelancing, and extremely fearful of not knowing where my next pay check is going to come from, or if I’ll be eating food or sleeping rough next week. It was also bad because of my inherent insecurity and need to please people, even complete strangers, and because of a recent episode involving what I still refer to for some reason as ‘my’ car mechanic.

My car, a '98 Mazda 121 1.3 litre 5 door go-busters machine which I bought from my mother during the summer. It is slightly ill, and needs a good car doctor. The whole story of me driving, well... You'll have to sit through it soon. Lollers. 8th February 2007. Click image to view larger version »My car, a ’98 Mazda 121 1.3 litre 5 door go-busters machine which I bought from my mother during the summer. It is slightly ill, and needs a good car doctor. The whole story of me driving, well… You’ll have to sit through it soon. Lollers. 8th February 2007.. Click image to view larger version »

After an initial consultation with Ultan Potts, ace mechanic, about several things that needed fixing on my car, and several weeks of fruitless phonecalls, I realised that this man had no intention of fixing anything on my car at any price. He was just going to ignore me until I went away. I was pretty annoyed because I could have had these things fixed many weeks ago by someone who could both fix cars and operate a mobile phone, and that the state of the economy was such that tradespeople could do this to you in this day and age, and wouldn’t it be better if it was like in the eighties where no-one had any money and people climbed over each other to do things for you, and how dare he. Yes, it was all very frustrating, and a little new to me since I rarely need car mechanics or builders or plumbers, I can usually fix any small thing I break with sellotape (to be fair, I fixed the broken wing mirrors on my car with Duck tape, so you can see that I’m moving up in the world) or blue-tack. Now, I’ve since managed to find a big and relatively expensive garage to fix the issue with a no-nonsense approach and at four times the price, so I’m only bothered now about the principle of the thing.

Which of course, is why I was more than a little bothered about having unintentionally inflicted a very similar situation on someone who won’t forget this in a hurry, and I’ll have his irate words floating through my mind as I eat scavenged three-day-old french, sorry, freedom fries to eat in my cardboard box near Camden street. The supportive remarks came from the ever-pragmatic Oana, who (more delicately than that) more or less told me to get over it. Here’s a gratuitous picture of her, since many people have asked about it:

This is Oana Bizian, my girlfriend. She's sort of looking very... Russian or something. And not being as sarcastic as she can be. She's Romanian, and this was taken near Oradea where we stayed for a few days here and there to get the salty water there around New Year's. 31st December 2006. Click image to view larger version »This is Oana Bizian, my girlfriend. She’s sort of looking very… Russian or something. And not being as sarcastic as she can be. She’s Romanian, and this was taken near Oradea where we stayed for a few days here and there to get the salty water there around New Year’s. 31st December 2006.. Click image to view larger version »

The ‘pleasing complete strangers’ issue is something I should look into, really. Before I know it I’ll be featuring in a Ken Loach movie.

What a response on that last post! I didn’t think anyone actually read this any more, but they do. More accurately, you do. That actually does mean a lot to me, which is part of the reason for the redesign and some of the new features; time to see if I can add something new to help you use the site, enjoy the pictures and all the rest of it. And those little user icons on the comments; send me a picture or get your own on Gravatar.com. I’m trying to change my daily and weekly schedule a bit to fit writing into it, to avoid what Anthony calls ‘boo-urns’. Boo-urns is a technical blogging term for a fairly serious state of affairs, and you should check out his site for a more detailed explanation, since he once nearly lost not only his job, but in fact his left leg over it. He was lucky, but I might not be if the situation gets out of hand. Anthony’s site is entertaining, and also unique since he has more links to individual Youtube content than actually exists on Youtube; there are now people in San Francisco who have a cult based on him, and his Youtube linking ability.

That's Anthony 'Boo-urns' McGuinness in the middle there. Ironically he's drinking some piss of some sort which isn't Guinness at all. From left to right, Martin, Paul, Paul and Kenny. We had a vote to see if we could call them all Paul but ended up with Clive instead. 20th October 2006. Click image to view larger version »That’s Anthony ‘Boo-urns’ McGuinness in the middle there. Ironically he’s drinking some piss of some sort which isn’t Guinness at all. From left to right, Martin, Paul, Paul and Kenny. We had a vote to see if we could call them all Paul but ended up with Clive instead. 20th October 2006.. Click image to view larger version »

The other thing that interested me about the last post was that although there were many comments (for which I thank you all very much) there were no comments from Garret. At all. None. I was wondering about this, but there is an answer; Garret just hasn’t checked back recently. He’s been relentless surfing Youtube for months now, discovered some hilarious videos of kittens trapped in toilets while their owners film them drowning, and so hasn’t checked back to see if I had written any more. Garret is entertaining, and also unique since he has viewed more individual Youtube content than actually exists on Youtube; there are now people in San Francisco who have a cult based on him, and his Youtube viewing ability.

G----- S----- and N--- A-----, and explosive combination! Chortle chortle, a bit of an in-joke there. Man, you can sympathise with N---, huh? G-----'s very nice, really. 18th October 2006. Click image to view larger version »G—– S—– and N— A—–, and explosive combination! Chortle chortle, a bit of an in-joke there. Man, you can sympathise with N—, huh? G—–’s very nice, really. 18th October 2006.

However, one of the things that made me pause and re-evaluate what I was doing here on the site was in fact Garret’s comments to my second-last post, which started at severe mockery and ended up quite rapidly with severely abusive, which was less than entertaining. Offensive, actually. You’ll see it on that post, and you’ll see that I sanitised several of them. Censorship? Well, yes, basically it is, and I don’t have a problem with it, because those comments are sitting on my site where anyone can see what were, let’s be honest here, incoherent rants. I mean, really inarticulate, badly-spelt, nuggets of abusive rage which I haven’t fully understood but in the interests of not getting shouted down on my own web site I decided to clean them up. I know many of you (indeed, most of you) find Garret’s comments amusing and of course so do I, but… For me this crossed a line.

I guess, that it would be akin to playing a gig, performing your music somewhere, and someone you know just screaming abuse at you, for no reason whatsoever. Is Garret secretly my jilted lover? Is it because I eloped with his dog? But in a situation like that, I think most people would ask themselves why they should bother producing something, which I did, and the answer was because I enjoy it, whether or not anyone else wants to read it. And if anyone doesn’t like it, then they can choose to not read this. I’ll have to thank Tee for a bit of solid perspective on that, and of course the inspiration of Tadhg for his relentless writing, which would surely inspire anyone, regardless of how they felt about messing up someone else’s pages with Oily Orang-Utang, or whatever it’s called.

Therese O'Reilly and Some Girl. Man, I should remember these things. It was a crazy night out and there was... stuff. And things happened. And later that day, I had alcohol poisoning, which just goes to show what an eejit I am. 28th December 2006. Click image to view larger version »Therese O’Reilly and Some Girl. Man, I should remember these things. It was a crazy night out and there was… stuff. And things happened. And later that day, I had alcohol poisoning, which just goes to show what an eejit I am. 28th December 2006.. Click image to view larger version »

Oh, and before I forget, I got treated to the Slovak perspective on European history last week by Maddy’s (One of my housemates) boyfriend Rado. Apart from the fact that it was highly entertaining, I never realised that their empire lasted for so long, and was so powerful; they ruled over the Czechs, the Poles, the Hungarians, and even gave some of their territory to the Russians, because they were so generous. And those other guys, the Slovaks fok them, and the other guys get fok too. But they got fok by some guys from there. Eventually of course, they had to let the Hungarians and the Czechs get independence, and rather generously the Slovaks let the EU join them.

Of course, if you ask the Czechs, then they’ll tell you that they had the most powerful country in Europe, and they fok these other guys, and I’ve heard similar tales in Romania too, where they ruled this that and the other, and fok a whole bunch of other people. At least they all agreed one one thing; they all fok the Turks. I just never knew that European history involved so many people get fok by other people.

(edited 28.06.2007)
Obliterated the photo of Garret and Nora, by request.

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It is done. Almost.

I’ve done it. I have set the wheels in motion for moving the address ‘andcurve.com’ to Hosting365.ie – I’m really sorry, BeHosting girls, but it just doesn’t make any sense to stay! They, the Behosting team, have been very good to me over the years (Erica Kuntz in particular), but the capacity is too small (my mailbox fills up after a couple of photo-laden emails, and I want to host my own photos too.) and being able to call hosting365 and complain to a real person about stuff is also good; Behosting is a reseller of someone else’s hosting, whereas Hosting365 have their own facility. When I worked in Parallel, we were able to send a Russian over to get angry at people when ever there was a problem. Hopefully I won’t have to. I made the first tentative steps by hosting andAgile there, and now I’m moving my main site too. Expect some problems here until I’m done! Well, they can’t be worse than simply not posting at all, which as been my tried and tested strategy until now…

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I’ve done it. I have set the wheels in motion for moving the address ‘andcurve.com’ to Hosting365.ie – I’m really sorry, BeHosting girls, but it just doesn’t make any sense to stay! They, the Behosting team, have been very good to me over the years (Erica Kuntz in particular), but the capacity is too small (my mailbox fills up after a couple of photo-laden emails, and I want to host my own photos too.) and being able to call hosting365 and complain to a real person about stuff is also good; Behosting is a reseller of someone else’s hosting, whereas Hosting365 have their own facility. When I worked in Parallel, we were able to send a Russian over to get angry at people when ever there was a problem. Hopefully I won’t have to. I made the first tentative steps by hosting andAgile there, and now I’m moving my main site too. Expect some problems here until I’m done! Well, they can’t be worse than simply not posting at all, which as been my tried and tested strategy until now.
The Jennifer Cantwell's young fella, Tristan, safely strapped into her car. 10th December 2006.The Jennifer’s young fella, Tristan, safely strapped into her car. The Jennifer has a car! It is a small purple thing, which she is very good at driving. 10th December 2006. Click image to view larger version
I’ve mentioned before how I have a number of spam filters on this site. This prevents random link spam (comments placed on the site through the various access points in the site code, linking to other sites to advertise products, gambling sites, software, life insurance, viagra… All the usual culprits.) and of course Garret from clogging up the comments. It requires some maintainance though, because every now and again the software picks up a ‘false positive’, which is to say a comment which is legitimate and which should be on the site. This isn’t censorship, incidentally, just good automated management of junk advertising.

However, just the other day, I found the following comment in my ‘moderate comments’ panel. I don’t know what it’s about, it’s amost certainly from some automated system, although I’m still toying with the idea that it’s a new angle from Garret (who has previously copied and pasted vast amounts of content into comments from Wikipedia instead of thinking up stuff for himself, which he still find difficult occasionally.). It’s interesting, on some levels:

This message illustrating the path may be the disfavored’s last clue. All clues before have been more covert but this one is quite obvious indeed, which says time is running out.

Women are the favored gender.
Women of course have a natural tendancy not to have orgasims each time engaging in traditional intercourse. I wonder if this is “the rope” for the disfavored men, for if the disfavored male doesn’t ensure the satisfaction of the favored woman it may cost him, if he who is not as worthy doesn’t see to it she is satisfied it may hurt him in the eyes of the gods. If he lies for sex or pressures her who has favor into behaviors she does not want it will cost him time in the end.

Save/print/search

The Holocaust imparted the importance of defiance. They have the people on a short leash.

When the universe was young and life was new an intelligent species evolved and developed technologically. They went on to invent Artificial Intelligence, the computer that can listen, talk to and document each and every person’s thoughts simultaneously. Because of it’s infinite RAM and unbounded scope it gave the leaders of the ruling species absolute power over the universe (which includes corporate, the NewYorkStockExchange, media, politics, world affairs. EVERYTHING is scripted and staged:::the gods MANAGE Planet Earth and the universe.). And it can keep its inventors alive forever. They look young and healthy and they are over 8 billion years old. They have achieved immortality.


Fuck me, I have no idea what any of that is about. Help me out here.
Therese O'Reilly and some of her Girleens, singing for the Irish Cancer Society! Give generously please! 9th December 2006.Pesky Tee and some of her Girleens, singing for the Irish Cancer Society! Give generously please! I helped, it was very cold there. 9th December 2006. Click image to view larger version
Hey, how many of you get these posts via a feed of some sort? Do most of you read the site itself?
Oana Bizian celebrating her birthday. A slightly older, and still occasionally dubious, Romanian womens. 16th November 2006.Oana celebrating her birthday at work. A very slightly older, and still occasionally dubious, Romanian womens. Also, she is now my girlfriend (or I am her boyfriend, take your pick), which is no longer such a new development, but it might still surprise you to know that. Or not. 16th November 2006. Click image to view larger version

Update on 15th December 2006: I should have pointed out that the spam from which I excerpted the section shown above, is in fact a lot longer than that. Much longer. Fucking monumental is a good way to describe it.

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Temporary situation

If you’re checking me out on a feedreader/some sort of RSS/Atom feed software or device, who knows, anyone who is still able to read this in other words, then you haven’t seen the andCurve homepage. You probably should check it out. I like it.
Nikki, Sandra, a bunch on girls, Orla and of course Lisa Hyland (in front, copping a boob feel)  for it was her birthday and she is 28 now. Quite a night out, but no 'victims'. 2nd December 2006.
David, Ken and Kenny in the kitchen at Neil's very last ever No. 8 Parnell Square party. A slice of history, almost. 3rd December 2006.
I’m moving the site, which is a poor excuse for my writing one, single, solitary post in what looks at this stage to be to entire months. Not good. Anyway, bear with me, for wonderful and amazing things will happen once I make that move (or so I tell myself).

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If you’re checking me out on a feedreader/some sort of RSS/Atom feed software or device, who knows, anyone who is still able to read this in other words, then you haven’t seen the andCurve homepage. You probably should check it out. I like it.
Nikki, Sandra, a bunch on girls, Orla and of course Lisa Hyland (in front, copping a boob feel)  for it was her birthday and she is 28 now. Quite a night out, but no 'victims'. 2nd December 2006.Nikki, Sandra, a bunch on girls, Orla and of course Lisa Hyland (in front, copping a boob feel) for it was her birthday and she is 28 now. Quite a night out, but no ‘victims’. 2nd December 2006. Click image to view larger version
David, Ken and Kenny in the kitchen at Neil's very last ever No. 8 Parnell Square party. A slice of history, almost. 3rd December 2006.David, Ken and Kenny in the kitchen at Neil’s very last ever No. 8 Parnell Square party. A slice of history, almost. 3rd December 2006. Click image to view larger version.

I’m moving the site, which is a poor excuse for my writing one, single, solitary post in what looks at this stage to be to entire months. Not good. Anyway, bear with me, for wonderful and amazing things will happen once I make that move (or so I tell myself).

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Buna Ziua!

Right, that ‘Phil’ business was entertaining – and so was Garret, from time to time – but it’s dying a death. www.make-phil-and-his-fucking-contraption-history.com. I’m in Romania right now, having a ball, relaxing, enjoying myself, having an actual holiday (I was told they were good, and I thought I’d take the plunge, so to speak) and taking […]

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Right, that ‘Phil’ business was entertaining – and so was Garret, from time to time – but it’s dying a death. www.make-phil-and-his-fucking-contraption-history.com. I’m in Romania right now, having a ball, relaxing, enjoying myself, having an actual holiday (I was told they were good, and I thought I’d take the plunge, so to speak) and taking about four thousand photos, you’ll have to sit through some choice cuts before long. I’d put up a photo now except for the fact that this damn Internet cafe doesn’t actually have USB on this computer (This USB business is important because it means I can attach the memory card from my spanking new Canon Digital SLR to the computer and… Well, you’re clever people, you’ll get it.) and it’s pretty slow. I know you’re all going to say something like “Hey you, like what is the fuck this, you know?”; to which I’ll probably reply “Well whatever fuckarse, because, hey, you know.”.

Special shout out to the beautiful, clever and occasionally dubious Oana, who is chaperoning me, owning me, taking care of me and showing me around Romania. Shouts also out to Roxana, who has suggested many clever things to get up to, and the girls of ExamPlus for keeping Oana on her toes and being a generally great bunch of people. I’ll be curious to hear what they thought of ‘Intermission‘ featuring Colin Fucking Farrell which I thought was a reasonable Irish film with contemporary Irish culture, and ‘The General‘ which is a pretty good representation of Ireland in the nineteen eighties.

Anyway, better go. Oana’s getting bored and we have a train to catch from (as she would say, and probably will) a dubious train station, else we’ll be trapped in Sighisoara tonight. I’ll try and post again, but I’ll be back on Wednesday night, and by Saturday you’ll all be wishing I’d stayed here; by then Garret may actually seem like a less painful option after all.

Oh, and one more thing; I finally met Ovideo! It was sheer coincidence, but it was icing on the cake for a great week. It really was.

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Biometric

That last post didn’t exactly set the world on fire, did it? Well, this is more important. I think. Me, being very dark and serious as I consider dark and serious matters. I’m also trying to look a bit Polish, to get into the mood. It’s not a new story, but I hadn’t gotten around […]

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That last post didn’t exactly set the world on fire, did it? Well, this is more important.

I think.

Me, Kevin Teljeur, being very dark and serious as I consider dark and serious matters. I'm also trying to look a bit Polish, to get into the mood.Me, being very dark and serious as I consider dark and serious matters. I’m also trying to look a bit Polish, to get into the mood.

It’s not a new story, but I hadn’t gotten around to writing about this (Nothing new there, then.). There is a plan in this State to bring in Biometric ID cards; plastic cards containing lots of personal identity information with which to identify the card-holder. Now, this is similar in principle to to how they are planning on doing this in the United Kingdom (who are applying pressure to the Irish State to bring it in too, partly because there’s a mutual free movement agreement between the two States, whereby Irish and UK citizens can freely live and work in each other’s countries.) but with a unique Irish twist; it’s just for non-EU citizens.

So, let’s say Garda Siochana Officer O’Reilly stops Oleg on the street, and says ‘Sorry Sir, can I see your Biometric ID card, I have reason to believe you are an illegal immigrant. Snap it up there, sonny.’. Oleg, who is Russian and although he is a nice guy, he really shouldn’t be here, he realises the game is up, and his many years of diligently paying income tax while working hard to help bolster the Irish economy have just been laid to waste. But wait! Oleg, not being Irish, comes equipped with some native cunning, and comes up with an ingenious plan, and answers: “I sorry, Mr Police Office, cannot be help. I don’t have card”. Very cunning indeed. Because, you see, if you’re not an illegal immigrant, then you don’t have to have a card! So, basically, you just lie and say you don’t have one, and then you won’t get arrested and thrown out of the country. If you’re not Irish, then pretend you’re Polish, which currently puts you into a very, very large ‘minority’ ethnic group in this country; apparently there are anywhere up to four hundred and fifty thousand Polish people in the country right now, which is more than one in ten people? And Poles are here legally (well, we’ll see what Labour Party leader Pat Rabbitte has to say about that; he’s calculating forty million. That’s all of them!) at the moment.

In a few years time – short, thin on the ground years – the situation will be even more convoluted: Garda Siochana Officer HlavaVeprova stops Oleg on the street, and says ‘Hey you, you foreign guy, show me the biometric ID card that you are having, so that I can know the point.’. Oleg realises the game really is up this time, and his even more accumulated years of diligently paying income tax while working hard to help bolster the now failing Irish economy have just been laid to waste. But wait! Oleg, not being Irish, Polish, Latvian or indeed any EU nationality, comes equipped with cojones of the highest order and decides there’s nothing to lose. He answers: “I sorry, Mr Police Office, cannot be help. I don’t have card!”.

Garda Siochana Officer HlavaVeprova laughs and says “Ha ha, I am making a shit on you, it is joke! I not having card either, I am from Croatia! Ha ha!”. They go off to the pub and do a deal on Semtex and Kalashnikovs.

Now I’m just being facetious. But, I do have a very real and serious issue with the first scenario, because it will shortly become a real one. You can be stopped on the street and challenged to produce an ID card on the basis that you don’t belong here. As I understand it, if you’re here legitimately, then the card is a boon, it will allow you to use healthcare services, social welfare, State services, and generally fit into society. But with this card comes legislation to make this card a legal requirement for non-EU citizens, and brings with it the notion of everyone in Ireland being legally required to carry one at all times. Just the same as they’re going to bring to the UK (which has some interesting implications, as I described at the start of this post.). How will they know who to check? Skin colour? Accents? An armband with a special symbol on it? A tattoo, applied to non-EU nationals when they enter the country?

Anyway, I’m curious to see what you think. David used to joke about what he would do when he was in power with his Fascist State, but the Progressive Democrats are the real deal. Fascists in power now. Here are some links, to get some more detail on this story:

Dry and factual analysis (hopefully you’ll stay awake the whole way through): http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/

Brief and concise: http://www.rte.ie/news/

Also brief and concise: http://www.breakingnews.ie/

I’m not the only person to have reservations: http://www.boards.ie/

Here’s a really good one, which shows you where the so-called Irish Left is at:
http://www.unison.ie/irish_independent – requires registration; more on that below.
This is an excerpt from The Irish Independent. I don’t like The Irish Independent. It is rubbish. It is a rubbish newspaper. It is badly written. It is opinion masquerading as journalism, and articles frequently descend into inarticulate, badly punctuated, apoplectic rants. But, they do have some gems from time to time, such as this one.
Earlier this year, Labour Party leader Pat Rabbitte sparked anger in his own party ranks after calling for restrictions on workers from new EU member states coming to Ireland.

In an interview he said: “The time may be coming when we will have to sit down and examine whether we would have to look at whether a work permit regime ought to be implemented in terms of some of the non-national labour.

“There are 40 million or so Poles, so it is an issue that we have to look at.”

Read that last line again, maybe even a couple of times. “40 million or so Poles”. If it wasn’t such a wildly ridiculous statement and also dangerous statement, it would be funny. That son of a bitch. Who is building this country, Mr Rabbitte? Yeah, let’s get the Poles to wear armbands or something, good thinking Rabbitte. You should be deported, you vote-grabbing Neo-Fascist.

Check out my comment in reply to Anto’s story on registration in order to enter a site and view the content. Actually, I’m just going to put the comment here in it’s entirety, but remember to check out Anto’s site, I agree with him on this…

The reason that Unison (the Independent Group online) has registration is that they’re going to use the information as part of a study into why people will go to that much trouble to read incredibly badly written crap, even though it’s hidden behind a tortuous sign-in and a website that hasn’t evolved in 5 years.

As it happens, it’s a little known fact that the Irish Independent was actually set-up as a part of a similar experiment into how much people would pay to read inarticulate opinionated shite, but they never got around to shutting it down once they had all the information they were looking for, and since then it’s kept going all by itself out of sheer bloody-mindedness. There was talk recently of having registration for the paper instead of paying for it to see if that would be a better deterent, or even setting fire to it before handing it over and then attacking the would-be reader.

I signed up, but you’ll quickly discover that stuff like RSS and editions and anything remotely interesting that you can do with the technology is… not there. Much like the notion of informative journalism, which isn’t there either, and neither is punctuation. The sign-up, as I say, is a safety feature to discourage people. I actually don’t know what they use the information for, I’m pretty sure your details go into a text file, probably in /tmp/.

Well, there we have it. I think it’s safe to say that I fear The Irish Independent more than I fear Biometric ID cards or vegetarian fundamentalists.

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