So, I’m writing again.
Click to expand and see the rest of 'Needs a title'... »So, I’m writing again. I’ve spent a surprising amount of time thinking about how I’d open my next post, what I would write, would I just dive straight in as if it was routine, yet another post (perhaps even with some outrageous or provocative opening gambit) or would I labour the point (a little sheepishly maybe, a hint of shame at the many long weeks since I last wrote something here). Or something else. And instead here I am, meta-blogging or meta-writing, whatever they call this curiously introspective form of reflection on the act of writing whatever it is that I’m writing, and thinking about how to go about explaining what finally spurred me back into action. Maybe there is only one way.
I was shamed into it. Pure and simple. Now, you might, if you knew something about the nature of this site and it’s recent history, think that it might be the continued chiding of Tony and his enthusiasm for my posts. Or the mockery of Garret. Or my girlfriend, or one of various women that haunt and taunt me. Or by the blogging efforts of any one of my peers, and how they continually manage to post under adverse conditions, while I do not.
You’d be wrong. I was shamed into it, because I really do want to write, and exercise my ability for the written word, and if Michael McDowell – Michael McDowell! That’s right! Him!- can write a blog, then I damn well better be writing! He is the leader of one of the smaller (well, after the upcoming election, probably non-existent) political parties here in Ireland, the Progressive Democrats, and my feelings on the whole subject of the aforementioned Progressive Democrats, Irish politics, all the related issues that go with it… It’s a whole can of worms. I’ll admit that the post was probably written by one of his runners or aides, but the point is that there is a blog out there where he is in some form or fashion publishing material under his name.
The site (www.rockthevote.ie) claims to have a blog for the leader of each major political party; they all have one entry and of course those entries are setting out their stalls. The idea is to motivate young people to vote so I guess it’s a good thing. The Irish in recent years have been less than good about partaking in elections; I don’t know if it’s cynicism, apathy or distractions cause by money, but hopefully they’ll take an interest this year because it could turn out to be one of the more important elections in the last few decades. Or rather, the eventual outcome (Ireland has a very convoluted election process, which is intended to be democratic but is complex and has occasionally unintentionally undemocratic results) of the election will be very important.
Yes, the upcoming election has been an obsession of mine recently because I think it’s going to be a big deal, and because the processes, the manoeuvres, the strategies, these all interest me. I’ll be back with my views on where I think this will all end up.
Other stuff that happened recently was as you saw in the previous post from about seven years ago that I turned thirty-four or so (I can’t remember any more, it’s a big number at any rate), my back got hurt, I’ve been trying to buy a new car (that is truly a recent and huge obsession), I’ve been coping with work and apathy in my life, and Oana came over to visit, which was truly a very big deal for me, and for anyone who had to listen to me go on about it.
So, I’m going to work hard at this, because there’s no way Michael McDowell or Pat Rabbitte are going to play me off my game. Even if they looked this good. There’ll be more.
Click to collapse this story... »I was blown away as I was walking down Talbot Street; it just felt fantastic to be walking down this street, the energy that was there, the feeling that anything was possible, and it was hard for me to believe that I was walking down a street in Dublin where I’ve been living and working, […]
Click to expand and see the rest of 'Boom'... »I was blown away as I was walking down Talbot Street; it just felt fantastic to be walking down this street, the energy that was there, the feeling that anything was possible, and it was hard for me to believe that I was walking down a street in Dublin where I’ve been living and working, on and off, for the last thirty-three years. New shops, people from so many nations, and a real sense that a lot of these people were here because you can really make things happen here, there’s enough money and if you work hard you can have your share of the cake too. I thought that maybe the money in Ireland is now like a siphon effect, in that there’s a certain intertia which means after the whole economic boom of a few years ago the whole show just keeps itself going, drawing in more money and the people to earn it, which in turn draws in more money.
Talbot Street, recently; this is Ireland’s future, and it’s a hell of a rush! Also there are cheap clothes. Click image to view larger version
The other thought I had was more personal, and that was this: the way I feel about Dublin is actually a reflection on how I feel about myself. If I dislike it (which happens frequently) then what it really means is that I’m unhappy about myself, my circumstances, other personal issues, which I project onto the city and the people in it. If I like it, if I think it’s interesting, if I think I’m seeing it in a new light, or having new ideas about it, then that too is a reflection on my own circumstances, and I should really look to myself to interpret those feelings.
So, you might be wondering then what my conclusion was about my feelings last Saturday, why I was feeling so positive about Dublin and excited to be a part of it, and if you haven’t heard about it already, then read on. In fact, read on anyway, because you might enjoy the detailed explanation. I felt good because last Thursday I handed in my notice on my job.
I quit.
It’s not that big a drama in many ways, and if anyone hadn’t expected it then it’s because they don’t know about the job, the company or indeed read my blog much, or even know me. If you know me in any capacity then you know what I do for a living, and how I feel about doing that for the company I work for, which is that I build web sites (Or rather, I build the display or output for web-based content management systems, and web sites. I’m quite good at it.) and that I’ve been growing increasingly frustrated with my job, hating it even.
I think the biggest part of the drama is that for people over the age of about twenty eight or so, leaving a job voluntarily is a big deal, and you only do it if you’re guaranteed of a new job which is something I’m not, at the moment. I had been looking for a new job for a while but not terribly enthusiastically since I hadn’t seen anything which was substantially better than the job I’ve just left, but the thing I’d been overlooking all this time was that at my age, with my experience, with my contacts, getting a new job in Ireland won’t be too traumatic; when I was in Australia two years ago, I found a reasonable job in two and a half weeks in Melbourne under adverse conditions (No money, Working Holiday Visa, limited contacts, skills not very saleable) from a standing start. Conditions this time around are considerably better in every way, so I’m pretty confident in everything being ok on that front.
People have been both curious and concerned about this whole development (Me too, let me tell you!), and have been asking me a lot about it, and there’s a pattern to the questions so I’ll tackle it in a web-friendly ‘Frequently Asked Questions’ style. It’ll make your lives easier, I think.
So, last Wednesday I thought about it one last time, and then I wrote the resignation letter, and resigned on Thursday morning. It’s a cracker actually, one of my better pieces of prose recently and it’s a shame I can’t post it. You have to do these things with a sense of humour if you want to stay on the same page, that’s all I’ll say, because there are no silver bullets.
So there you have it. The best move yet of 2006 and fully in line with the master plan, so expect more daring and surprising moves quite soon. There are plans afoot…
In the meantime, I’ve seen ‘Dig!‘ the riotous, messy story of the Brian Jonestown Massacre and the Dandy Warhols, which is great demonstration of how not to pursue your creative dream; I thoroughly recommend it to you, especially if you have any interest in the creative process or music. It’s a rollercoaster. I also went to see ‘The Devil and Daniel Johnston‘ a week ago which is a movie treading a similar path and again I recommend it, rivetting stuff about the fine line between creative genius and madness. I’m not a creative genius, and never will be, but it’s humbling to see how people who do have it can make a meal of it in one way or another. I need to be happy with what I have and just work hard to get where I’m going to.
(Continuously re-edited to solved a line-break problem. Am I the only person who hates Internet Exploder this much?)
Click to collapse this story... »Some more random photos from my past.
March ’04. Lucinda Westerman and that woman I replaced – what was her name? – in the Department of Human Services, Melbourne, Australia
February ’03. Myself and Caroline at my mother’s exhibition launch
Click to collapse this story... »