What a melodramatic title. Basically, I’m very stressed right now (though really, I shouldn’t be) and somehow ‘not enjoying myself’. In theory everything is fine; I have lovely girlfriend, a reasonably well-paid job, a roof over my head, everyone I know is (as far as I know) healthy and in good form – in other words, things are good. But somehow I just have the feeling that I have no influence on any of this, and the last time I felt like this I realised I had to get out of my job and just fuck right off with a backpack to some obscure part of the world. Actually, that’s exactly what I did and it was generally a lot more fun than this, even when things were going badly.
I mean, I can’t find a room to live in for a year, in a house in Dublin when I could find a hostel late at night in the middle of Budapest using some vague German instructions from a random stranger?
I might have to do the ‘machine for living’ mindset where I set objectives and targets for every day; in the past that has worked very well for getting stuff done and relieving some stress. Last weekend I had a ‘people-free weekend’ where from Saturday afternoon to Monday morning I just had minimal contact with everyone, even my girlfriend, in order to have ‘me’ time. The result was this blog and a stress-free Kev, which lasted until Thursday morning. Work is no picnic at the moment, I’ll fully admit.
Which reminds me; apparently they are posting this on blogs: http://www.combatclimatechange.ie. It’s a ‘work in progress’, so it’s not finished. I built it but didn’t design it, and more on the subject of climate change later…
I’m not even sure why I’m writing this because no-one is reading it but if you are then maybe you can suggest something useful. Even a good brand of tranquiliser will do.
RED BULL is the key… invented by a very smart Austrian! It gives you wings