andcurve.weblog - The weblog of Kevin Teljeur. Somewhere within all the noise, there is a note you need to hear.

I’m going to be a ‘Sole Trader’. I’m going to do work for people, charge them for it, and then with that give them an invoice with a silly name on it which is the name I will be trading under. Sort of like a company name, which allow me to justifiably get a URL based on that (even an Irish one, in fact, although it’s generally a tedious and vastly over-priced process) and to design an identity for it. So, in a nutshell, I need to come up with a name for my professional endeavours, something which is reasonably simple, reflective of what I’m about as a Freelance operator (I promised to write more about that, and I will) and will be something that in years to come will be synonymous with the work I’ve done and the quality of that work. A brand name.

So, I’ve had to start thinking about it, and it’s actually a bit difficult. I originally envisaged andCurve being that brand, but now here you are, reading some occasionally entertaining diatribes on a number of issues, and I have to actually keep that separate from my professional life. I still might release software under this name, but that’s a separate issue. It’s now a brand for my hobby, as it were (though that’s no bad thing, and I think everyone should have a brand for their hobby; if it’s a good hobby, get an office, get an identity, hire some people and incorporate. The thing is, when you run out of money it’ll all end in tears, and you’ll wish you’d taken up knitting instead.) and I’d like to keep them separate so as not to confuse people. Or indeed offend potential or existing customers.

Names: well, here go. A list. I used to come up with names for my ‘umbrella projects’ (my various ideas for things I wanted to do, encapsulated in big, sprawing concepts which never went anywhere) on a weekly basis, and I’ve started looking through the notebooks again to help me out. I was a lot more creative back then, which actually means I was churning out a lot more redundant and downright useless ideas back then.

Clever IT company-type names

• EnergyPoint
  We are a point of energy. At this point, you can find energy. With us. At the point. Where there is energy.
• Dynamik
  Dynamik reflects how we are energetic and forward-thinking. We are also different, which is why we misspelled the word.
• Vertex
  The top. We are the highest point of this game, because we are clever and used a mathematical-sounding name. We are better and should also be paid more, even though we have a cheap-sounding name.
• Gorkon
  Has potential. A name of power. Could be responsible for oil spills and eating shareholder’s babies. Respect us.

Dark, powerful meat-eater type names

• Shibboleth
  Suggests something summoned from the other world, come to steal souls and create fear, while building your website.
• Krull, Eater of Souls And DeFlowerer of Virgins!!!
  Could be handy for trading in Westmeath, where this kind of thing is generally respected. Might be a bit heavy on the dark conotations though.
• Karkass
  You know, dead stuff. Stuff that is dead. We killed it. We are dead. I don’t know, really. Ask a Goth (if you know how to communicate with one, you’ll probably go for this one anyway). Hrrrgh, as they say.
• Gorkon
  Has potential. A name of power. Could be responsible for oil spills and eating shareholder’s babies. Fear us.

Edgy, designer, new-media industry type names

• MuffCramp
  Edgy. Might offend women (and everyone else), but suggests being at the cutting edge of creativity. We have such a good time it hurts. When we’re done with you, you’ll be sore too.
• CockPoint
  We point to solutions, with our cocks. There’s a sort of homoerotic thing going on there, except there’s not because we’re not benders. We’re just very subversive and yet amazingly talented, which is why we can overtly base our identity around penis imagery.
• Jizz
  Simple, elegant. We spurt creative goodness at you, and we’re so clever and good at what we do that we can call ourselves something like this and believe that you’ll think we’re amazing too. And not full of shit.

Weird nonsense names

• Bxx5!
  Oh yes. My favourite word of the moment. Utterly meaningless, beyond being an exclamation which fascinates David Donohoe somewhat through my insistence on using it (that’s sort of an endorsement, so I’ll consider it). I should name my enterprises after it.
• YakNeep
  Yaks are big, and we will be too. Neep is… »
• Mr Squirrel
  Squirrels are cool and they do stuff. Just like us. We do stuff and are really cute too.
• GurnardHead
  Gurnards are the best fish going, because they have Gurnard Heads. Find one, stare into it’s big, wet eyes and you will see what I mean. We are like Gurnards, and have little fin feet too.

Names that I’m actually considering using

• andProcess
  Follows the andWhatever naming convention I’m into over the last few years. I’m a fan of process, so I’d like to communicate that in the name.
• andAgile
  Follows the andWhatever naming convention I’m into over the last few years. I think ‘agile’ reflects lightweight flexibilty, which is something I think is very important in what I’m setting out to do.
• adaptiveProcess
  I’m big into process, and I believe process should change and adapt to the needs of the situation.

If anyone has a better suggestion, not matter how bizarre or how many, comment below! And that means you too, Michaela.

Yeah, this whole freelance thing is tough. In the meantime, I’ve ordered my new notebook, an Apple MacBook Pro 2Ghz with vast amounts of… Everything, in fact. And books. Lots of books. And Windows XP which (believe it or not) I’ll install on my Mac when I get it; the new Macs all support Windows too, now and since I’ll have to support all the major systems (all two of them, and of those two, Windows is a good 94% plus of the the market) I might as well get one good notebook to do the job.

More on the way about my last week and last day on the job, a great game of footie, a hell of a weekend (some remarkable adventures kicked off recently), and what’s next. Oh, and for those of you who give a shit, the weather here has been fantastic. It really has. Started to break this evening but in Ireland all you need is that week and half of beaming ultraviolet and you know you’ve lived.
Myself, looking somewhat mean in the blazing sun a week ago after an interesting encounter in the phoenix park. And getting slightly burnt. Click image to view larger version